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Happy Akshaya Tritiya! It is a very special day. According to Hindu mythology on this day God of Wisdom Lord Ganesha started writing the Mahabharata. It is an auspicious day that brings peace and prosperity. Today you can do pooja, buy gold, donate to the charity. It is a great day for new beginnings, so it is good to have finished everything else before today. Some people clean their windows for Jesus, I do the same for the elephant-looking god. And I regret nothing!

All the yoga teachers that I know in the first few months after YTT have gone through purging. During this time we face and release all our karma. It may seem like life is falling on our heads. And it is way more pronounced than it otherwise would have been.

In the years gone by, my karma was gentle on me, I would get one event spread over a span of several months, maybe half a year even. Now, it is only April and I have released 5 lessons at least! Since my YTT, I feel like all of the potential triggers that used to be buried deep inside, now have been brought to the surface, all at once. It is tough, but I know from my training that I am much more than that. And this will be gone soon. While the shadow work never ends, the purging hopefully will. Speaking of, my tarot deck gave me a Death card today, this literally means purging. I am moved. So much humour does my deck have 😉

I do prioritise my offline life now, letting the experiences cook in me, so that all the energy from my inner daemons can transmute me in the process. I managed to get back on the mat. Let’s take a moment to appreciate this, self practice was never a thing for me. There was simply not enough comfort in the presence of my own thoughts to make myself do it. So now there is. I have done something right! And I welcome the sore muscles every day with gratitude. Thanks to the hours spent on my mat, I am able to endure the discomfort. In fact, I am finding it quite comfy and humorous now 🙂 (Sarcasm is humour too!)

We are being taught resilience on the mat over and over again. I refer to the core-workout classes – after spending an hour in one-legged side planks paired with “knee-to-the-opposite-elbow-hold” planks and dolphin, our teacher would tell us we are more than able to do the pincha for the first time ever, because the warm up was proper! Or after the entire standing and (let’s be real) most of the seated sequence of Ashtanga yoga, I finally manage to do my Urdhva Dhanurasana. And go through that during every class. Just look forward to the upcoming bliss that comes during Savasana. The discomfort is only now and it will go away.

Finding comfort in discomfort. Being able to endure it so that it can change me in the way necessary, with no distractions. Our bodies are designed in such a way that if we embrace the sensations of all the difficult feelings, we release them after just 60-90 seconds of hell. They will change us, they can make us grow. We can choose to run away a little bit and that is okay too. After all, who doesn’t? There are so many numbing mechanisms to escape to. That serves a purpose too. Whatever is meant for us will come back though.

So here I am, committing to more regular blogging. Watch me as I walk my walk of shame after being silent for weeks!