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There are a few qualities that make us different from other animals. Anthropologist Margaret Mead brought the example of the 15,000 year old human thigh bone with a healed fracture, as a prominent sign of civilisation. While compassion alone is not exclusive to humans, in combination with thoughtfulness and skill, it can be elevated to greater good than just the sum of its elements. It is teamwork and the foundation of the society.

“Never doubt that a few caring people can’t change the world. For indeed, that’s all who we ever have.” Margaret Mead

That is what we can achieve when we refer to the other, as a society. Who are we as individuals though? Someone wrote a tale about a woman who died in a storm. There was a frozen lake and people ice skating. The woman went to the gate of Heaven but she would not be let in. The guardian asked her one question: “Who are you?”
“I am a daughter of Mary and Jacob.”
“I am not asking whose daughter you are. I will ask again: Who are you?”
“I am a washerwoman.”
“I am not asking what occupation you hold. I will ask again: Who are you?”
“I am a mother of three.”
“I am not asking whose mother you are. Return to Earth and come back when you know the answer.”

Metacognition is a distinct feature attributed only to humans. We have this ability to think about the way we think, to introspect and reflect on our own behaviours and internal processes. Capability to look at yourself and describe what it means: you. I would even argue, looking at ourselves is one of the necessary features of growing up – discovering our shit and learning how to handle it. We may get lost in falsely perceived humility and deny ourselves the need to reach our full human potential, for which there is always a price to pay. You cannot run away from yourself. This has nothing to do with maturity or responsibility, it is more about health. Knowing you can not run away from life is good but there is one thing more important: knowing who you are. I would like you to explore this with me. Let’s talk about values.

It may sound silly, but not many people know what their values are. Moreover, not many people know their values change over time. Values are our foundation and a compass which guides us in our “here and now”. They help us live our life with awareness and decide to act in the current time, to experience our values in real life. They are an excellent tool that realigns us on our path, helps restore our reality to such that reflects our needs and wants.

Some say, values should not be selected. Instead, we should discover what they are for us. It may make sense for you to reflect on that first (as suggested here). But this is not what we came here for. Have a look at the list below and highlight values that resonate with you, everything that is important to you. You may choose to write all of them down. While it is hard to independently consider 40 or so different items, what may help is to recognise connections between them. It may be helpful to assign them to 5 or 6 main groups and identify the most central one to each group. You may want to highlight which values within each group are essential to your core of being. This is your map of values, so it is up to you how you choose to organise them. How do you prioritise them?

Let’s work on the second list. This one should contain all personal values specific to you. Anything that makes your life “mmm”. Everyone is different, everyone gets their kick from different things. I get a boost of energy from things outlined below. Can you list a few of your own?

Animals, sung poetry, nature, music, belgian waffles, water sports, horse riding, yoga, food, rain, RPG, adventures, camp fires, books, coffee, forest strawberries, radiator, writing, dancing, personal growth, washing the dishes, winter.

Reflect on all your values and ask yourself a question – how many of them do you actively address in your life? Which ones you could dedicate more energy to? 

Our core values change as we grow up. Life is dynamic, we constantly evolve and the change comes whether we like it or not. It is for our own benefit to welcome change and create our own luck, create our own life. Be brave and revisit your list in a few months and cross off anything that does not seem fit anymore. We have this saying in Polish “only a cow does not change her mind”. Cannot argue with that 🙂 Or with a cow!